15 #7 "I need you"

"I need you" is what you have started to say to me several times a day.  At times when you are tired, sad, bored, unsure and you want me to sit with you and spend some time with you.  Not necessarily playing, just sitting next to you as you watch tv or sit on your bed with Bertie.

You often ask me to sit with you whilst you watch tv, I usually say no because I use your tv time to start dinner preparations or wash up or get any other jobs done.

You often ask "Play with me" when I have spent too much time leaving you by yourself to play so that I can get the washing done etc.

"I need you" is such a heart wrenching request. It's harder to wriggle away from than "play with me" and yet I still do and I feel incredibly guilty about that. My response tends to be "Only for a minute" or "I just need to" or " I have to get this done".  But in reality how important are all those things I have to do? Important to get them done during the day so that I get to have some relaxation time to myself in the evening. Which is important to an extent, but not vital every day.  The reality is you will only need me for such a short amount of time. Soon you won't want me to watch tv with you, sit next to you, or even be in the same room as you. You'll discover that closing the door on your bedroom gives you the privacy you crave and I will only be grudgingly allowed admittance.  Soon it will be me thinking "I need you" and craving time with you and you'll be telling me that you have better things to do with your time than hanging out with Mum.

I have to stop, and I will stop giving excuses and cradle you close when you need me, spend those extra few minutes in the afternoon or at bedtime and stop rushing to do jobs that I really don't want to do anyway.

I need you too, more than you will ever be able to comprehend. (Until you have your own baby I guess).

"-So, quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep. / I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep."

So I am resolving to treasure every single moment that my sweet baby girl keeps ... An easy resolution to follow when you are snuggling close into me. A harder one to follow when there's a list of jobs to do and you are in a grump. But I'll try my best.

15 #9 End of the daytime naps

About 3 weeks ago we mutually decided your daytime naps need to end. It's becoming harder and harder to get you to go to sleep at night, you fight it so much and it could take up to 3 hours for you to drop off.

I have dreaded this day, purely for selfish reasons. Those 3 hours a day that dwindled gradually down to an hour a day, was still my time, my sanctuary in the middle of the day to recoup, sleep, relax, read or get jobs done.

Not having a nap in the middle of the day means going out for the day or getting things done in general is easier as there's no rush to get back for nap time. So life in that respect gets easier. However if you fall asleep in the car on the way home from somewhere, even for just 15 mins, it means bedtime is a struggle as you won't go to bed at your normal time.

Now the big question is, what do I do with you for a WHOLE day? How do I keep you occupied, entertained? It used to be easy. We'd go out in the morning to an activity or play date or to run errands. Then lunch, nap and then there was only a couple of hours until dinner which we filled by playing and watching tv. An extra hour or so each day doesn't sound like much time to fill but it really makes the whole day stretch out in front of us seemingly never ending. And as your attention span for each activity is still only roughly 10 minutes, that's a lot of activities I have to find to entertain you!

I'm sure after time it will become normal though, and we will just naturally fill our days. It's still a daunting prospect though.

Another sign you are growing so fast.

15 #8 Kiwi accent

Your little accent is starting to change. It's the influence of kindy I guess. Your kiwi inflections are always strongest she you get home from a day at kindy.

Your 'e''s are becoming 'u''s; your 'i''s are becoming 'e''s; and the other day you even finished a sentence with "Ay"!

My little kiwi kid is really becoming a kiwi!